Amylase
by The-Lime-Raven
Summary: Ace Attorney ficlets with minimal editing. Contains penguins, crack ships, children and adults playing pretend, and will probably always never be complete. I mean, there's nothing to complete really.
1. Pankywonk

At an aquarium near me the African penguins need sweaters when it gets cold. Lana and Herman were born in 1987. That's it. That's why this exists.

i dont knit. shat this out in half an hour when talking crackships with a friend (not riley) and i havemt played the first AA game in forever buuuut idc

* * *

A young penguin squawked in Lana's lap.

"Hold still," Herman threatened the bird.

Two loops slid off Lana's needles.

"Look at what you did!"

Lana nearly flung her needles. "Objection! I am not an expert, but you will refrain from being so disrespectful."

Herman put down his own needles and scratched his head. "What are you talking about? I was yelling at Sniper. Here," he took her needles, rehooked the fallen loops, and handed them back to Lana. "I'm blunt, not rude." He pecked her cheek. "Get it right."

"Hmm." Lana's soft smile returned to her face. She held up the tiny yellow and orange sweater. "Is this big enough yet?"

"Only one way to find out. Come here, Sniper." Herman wrangled the penguin. Lana shoved her attempt at knitting over the baby's bobbing head. Both admired the prosecutor's work.

Herman praised, "Great job for a newbie." Even Sniper seemed to compliment Lana.

She sighed, stretched her arms above her head, and cracked her neck. "Have fun doing the rest on your own. Knitting is horrible."


	2. Playhouse

Nick, Larry, and Miles play pretend at recess.

* * *

Phoenix drew two long rectangles and a third smaller one above them in the sand with a stick. "Larry, you're offense. Miles gets to be defense."

The future attorney stood in the rectangle left of the small one. "What're you, then?" he asked, arms akimbo.

"Uh, I'm the sketch artist!"

Larry wiped his nose. "I wanna be the judge dude. Like that lady on TV!"

Miles tapped his polished shoe in the sand. "Let's just start and see where we go," he cleared his throat and did his best impression of his father. "My client is one-hundred percent not guilty, Your Honor."

"Not guilty," Larry banged the plastic slide, "Case closed!"

"Larry...!" Phoenix and Miles cried simultaneously.

Phoenix lamented, "I didn't even get to do anything."


	3. Heart of Steel

She could've walked in on him doing something worse.

metis and aura are married and simon is thenas uncle. you cant tell me this isnt canon.

* * *

Metis' strict schedule allowed her just enough time to brew a cup of tea and drink it on her way to the office. The door was unlocked.

Aura gave her psychology pupil a spare key months ago as a sign of trust. Naturally, she expected to open the door and find her wife or brother-in-law working on robotics or reading a textbook. She was one-fourth right.

"Shing!" Simon sliced from hip to shoulder of an invisible foe. "Swoosh. Shing sha-swoosh."

He repeated the move on twice more. He crouched and Metis swore his hair flattened like a hawk preparing to dive. "Evil Magistrate, your reign of terror ends here!"

His voice deepened and became raspier. "Ha! You are no match for I, the TRUE ruler of Neo Olde Tokyo."

Simon's voice returned to normal. "One shall stand, one shall fall."

With that, he charged at someone only he saw and decapitated them in a smooth stroke.

"Once again," he said proudly, "The day is saved by―"

Metis met his eyes as he flipped his hair. She did not need a PHD in psychology to know he was mortified. "Having fun?" She sipped her tea.

"You..."

"Saw the whole thing? Yes." She finally stepped in the room and shut the door behind her. "You'll be a wonderful prosecutor."

Simon stood and blinked.

"Justice," Metis clarified. "You admire justice."

Simon spoke for the second time their current conversation. "I apologize. Thena insisted I would enjoy a certain television program."

Metis knew that was not nearly the complete truth. She could figure out the rest on her own. A glance at the clock reminded her of the schedule. "It is two minutes until Aura arrives. We have a project to finish. I must arrange our supplies."

The young man delicately put the katana back in its stand and shuffled out the door without meeting his mentor's eyes. "I'll leave you to it. Good day, Cykes-dono."

"Have fun watching your program." Her eyes smiled more than her mouth.

* * *

As always, Aura arrived on time. "What have you done to my little brother?"

"Just a little something a non-psychologist wouldn't understand." She dropped her voice and relayed what she had witnessed.

Aura grabbed her belly. "He blamed― He blamed Athena‽" she gasped between bouts of laughter.

Metis rolled her eyes but couldn't help but catch her wife's fit.

* * *

those may or may not have been transformers and powerpuff girls references.


End file.
